shuxian: enjoys cold minty shower in the morning, reading in the train, getting lost in daydreams, running in the open, browsing in a bookstore, having a slice of cake in the afternoon


i need a change of lifestyle...
upcoming events:
mizuno run - july - 10km
terry fox - august - ~10km
real run - september - 10km
AHM - september - 21km
of course, the big bang, singapore marathon - december - 42km
i need a new pair of running shoes... the current pair is more than worn out... the insoles are almost gone!!! plus i need new running gear...
i need a new training routine... new training diet... the last preparation for marathon wasnt that bad, except for the fact that i nearly fainted after the terry fox, a bad knee and loss of hair...
sigh...
btw, i emptied my wardrobe, i found that i have loads of rubbish that i dont wear... weird stuff, how can i have bought them?
will be shopping tomorrow, one final dash to the malls with mummy at my side... =)

pssssst... TRANSFORMERS!!!

i have been happily PUTTING ON WEIGHT.
it is strange but lately, my definition of beautiful women are not those with skinny figures... those with large breast but tiny and slim legs are unproportional... weird looking...
i like women with full hips, butt..
saw this lady in track suit and a big baggy bag... her hips were wide, her thighs and butt were pretty big... but my, she was gorgeous! the way she walked, gentle swaying of hips (not those deliberate ah lian kind), i was stunned.
=)
i cant help but to keep staring at pretty women... cant be bothered with girls, talk too much and speak too little.

like a giant walking on thin ice,
feeling fear and uncertain,
each step with extreme caution.

I HATE PUTTING ON MAKEUP!
like how fel cursed about being a woman every morning when she put on makeup to work...
urgh!!! my skin is suffocating under a layer of powder!!!
damn it
damn it
damn it.

i satisfied my craving for salmon sashimi... next, i need thick and creamy mushroom soup! i dont mind french onion soup too (last had it at the checkers restaurant...) hmmmm...

a note to myself, i shall bum around for the next few days... catch up on my much needed sleep and readings... and movies too!!!
now, back to my makeup.... !@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!


after exams (courtesy of grace)

=) happy!!!

last thursday:
felt extremely excited about finishing my LAST paper
so much so that i dont mind talking to freaks...
had precious company for movie and dinner, what more can i ask?
last friday:
met up with the gang...
easy teasing and somewhat serious talk about rotting away...
had a simple family dinner... couldnt ask for more
last saturday:
packed my room and sent boxes of papers flying down the chute
floor is abit dusty but since i sleep on a loft bed, shall clean it when i finally finish packing
went for my first long run after a month's break, totally revitalising...
today:
finally stroll down town and do some tiny shoppings...
explored new john little which was a bit disappointing
found GAP to be a pretty useless brand
fell in love with a fossil wallet but shall wait for first paycheck to get it
hmmmmm...

well...
i am officially not a student...
i hate this status... neither here nor there.
but but but
i have trusted the Lord this far and i shall leave it up to him whether i deserve a break a not...
but then
i am pretty anxious to get into the workforce
to squeeze into mrt train early in the morning
to work my ass off for some miserable amount of money
life.
15 years of preparation for this moment.
i am taught how to write, how to draw, how to scribble, how to erase those ugly marks, how to disguise those unpleasanties and how to ignore imperfections.
now
i am given a brand new piece of blank paper...
no instructions
no guiding hand
i am to draw and write as i see fit.
hopefully, hopefully,
when i finally meet up with God, i am able to show him a beautiful piece of artwork.

while i feel trememdously uncertain about the future, i feel hope.