shuxian: enjoys cold minty shower in the morning, reading in the train, getting lost in daydreams, running in the open, browsing in a bookstore, having a slice of cake in the afternoon


i am not too sure why i am writing all these down... perhaps i am amazed, perhaps i am puzzled...
it all started on thursday... a beautiful day with lots of stuff to be done. yet, an hour before i left the house to school, it poured... so i waited and waited. it finally stopped raining like 1.50pm or something... so, it was either i rushed out of the house and end up being late, or i could just stay at home and do some readings... well, lazy me, of course, my choice was to stay at home and SLEEP... then at 5, i deliberated between training or going for mass... somehow, i chose to attend all souls' day mass instead...
during mass, as usual, i was daydreaming... i was thinking about, you know, mock exams are like less than 30 days away and i am still clueless about what's going on for a couple of subjects... then i wondered, why am i always so busy? i always seem to have an empty organiser at the start of the week and then, on sunday i flipped back... surprisingly always, the pages were scribbled in many different colour pens... well, i was thinking if this goes on, i would be doomed.
anyway, the entire mass, i was reasoning with myself, kinda blaming God (yup, right under His nose) that i was in that state... i went home that night feeling a bit funny and achy... anyway, i took 2 panadols as precautions and went to bed.
next morning, i woke up feeling feverish... thinking it would be a better idea to skip training (AGAIN) and sleep on so as to wake up 2 hours later feeling fresher to go school... NO, i woke up later... goodness me, couldnt even climb down the bed... my body was like jelly! couldnt control any muscles... worst, i was breaking out in cold sweats and alternating between feeling cold one instance and HOT the next. cancelled my lunch with marie (!) and grace and slept on the floor, the only surface that seemed to accomodate my body temperature needs. slept the ENTIRE DAY and was thinking, SHIT, i am so not going to be able to sleep later in the night... but, oh, i did fell asleep!
next morning, i woke up with a heavy heart and a still feverish body... felt better in the afternoon so i went out for a quick lunch... came home, bathed and rested. due to feeling guilty for leaving someone unattended, i declared myself fully recovered and went to watch FLUSHED AWAY, which by the way, was a damn good movie! really... hahahhaha, hugh jackman is REALLY a fine actor, seriously... i was trying to recognise that distinct deep voice of his and i am totally amazed at how he sounded not like hugh jackman himself... brilliant! and you have to understand british way of thinking and well, their dry sense of humour to thoroughly enjoy it. thanx to mark, =) i laughed all the way.
anyway, i went home feeling better (maybe it was just my brain trying to self console myself) and we settled to do long run tomorrow... so i woke up this morning, dressed in my running attire and OUCH! chest pain... hmmmmm, maybe i slept badly last night, should loosen up when i hit the ground... NO NO NO, barely a minute into jogging pace, my chest was so painful that i couldnt breathe! gosh, it was like asthma plus heart attack kind... i struggled to run walk, run walk 1km plus to meet ben before well, nearly collapsing... sheesh... so paiseh...
apparently, i didnt die. hah.
went back home, struggled to bathe (damnit cold sweat AGAIN) and i felt much better though the cramp didnt go away... i sat at my balcony, staring blankly, wishing it would rain to make the air cooler... well, in 30 minutes time it kinda drizzled...
i was thinking, was this the rest that i prayed for? while at lunch on saturday, i was complaining to mummy that i didnt even have the time and mood to catch up on my reading, reading story books not those bloody maths stuff. now, i am 'sick' perfect excuse to read, daydream, and relax.
well, the point here is, i totally believed that God does answer prayers, really! perhaps the way He does it is not really what you have in mind, but, BUT, His timing and methods are PERFECT.
i believe that i dont deserve to fall sick. COME ON, no MACDONALDS for like almost a month, no no, more than that! no chocolates (*whispers* if you closed your eyes when i popped two little nuggets of lindt chocolate into my mouth) and proper hydration, duh... and i didnt skip lunch and dinner... plus, my eating portion REALLY increased... so, i dont deserve to be sick RIGHT? and i didnt get caught in the rain all anything..!
but then, after some thoughts, maybe, i am overlooking something. i am pushing myself too hard. my body collapse, maybe not due to sickness, malnutrition or something, but due to STRESS... this 3 days of sleeping and 'water detox' (you have no idea how much i draw to supposedly drain out the heatyness) did miracles to me... i packed everything, wrote email and letters, planned all my stuff... =) i felt much better now...
(right side of my chest still, hmmmm, abit uneasy but, it can be overlooked!)
didnt i get what i prayed for, indirectly?

and dont worry oh-so-dearie Macdonalds and Chocolates, i WILL gobble you down after my marathon! =) maybe we can have Macdonalds Christmas Dinner? -,-