shuxian: enjoys cold minty shower in the morning, reading in the train, getting lost in daydreams, running in the open, browsing in a bookstore, having a slice of cake in the afternoon


you need a word of acknowledgement from me
you need a word of praise from me
you dont have to ask
i am proud of you
of what you have achieved
hugz

thx jun, for the advice, i keep feeling that my hair is soft and doesnt need conditioning... yet, i know that it is almost dead (maybe dead) so it does need conditioning... anyway, it is already straight and i am not going to let it bother me... to fully outgrow this dead hair need 2years right? gosh, going to be uglier for the next 24 months! sigh. am worried about my hair growth though. =)
baked cookies today and i think it went rahter well although i sacrifice 20% of it... haha, they burned.
cleaned the kitchen too! =)

okay, i shall talk about the hair any longer except to wait for it to grow.
i am trying not to be so close to these people because i know i know for sure, when they fly back, i am so going to miss them.. but i cant, i CANT. i just enjoy being with them so much that anything is possible in order to meet them. yup. i am just filling up my tear buckets.
Happy Chinese New Year in advance because i am going to be so busy that i can hardly breathe. am not going to watch movie with grace and marie tomorrow because my mum is so upset that i havent bake my cookies, clean my fan, clean my room, and clear my clothes.. and the baking part is tedious! so, pardon me please, i didnt mean to withdraw last minute....
Happy happy Chinese New Year. hope you get loads of monies... and gain loads of weight (i am one big ball now) haha... good health and results.

okay, i kinda rebonded my hair. the money i spent on my hair, even i am amazed by it. no wonder it kinda affected my shopping mood lately.
i used to tell myself how i hated rebonding and it makes everyone looks alike and blah blah blah. today i was resolved to rebonding my hair because
1. i am tired of the stares i get when i go out
2. i cant manage that hairstyle
3. i dont know how to blow dry my hair
4. i cant stand fizzy hair!
5. it reminded me of the past.
anyway, my hair still sux. it is dead dead and dead. limp and dead. and worst, it is rebonded! urgh! at least the only comfort it gives me is that it is not fizzy.. i am not going to rebond again, never in my life. by the way, my kor says my hair looks awfully thin. am being advised to seek treatment. sigh.
i so miss my old hair. and it is going to take 2 YEARS to grow it back!!!
sobz
sobz

buddy licking my toes, buddy 'kisses' me, buddy jumps with me, buddy doesnt wanna let me go home, buddy follows me around, buddy LOVES me! i love it when buddy wags its tail, jumps around me when he sees me. i feel so loved, everytime! and of course i never fail to give him a good massage (in return he will lick my fingers) and i never fail to feed him and play jumping with him. =) i love buddy, MORE.
=)
watched we were soldiers last night with my brother and it brought back many memories. i watched that movie with rosemarie in Lido. and it was during that time when war movies were a rage. we caught black hawk down, ... this movie that starred nicholas cage(forgot his name), this movie that starred jude law as a sniper(forgot his name) and many more. how i liked to cry at touching scenes and rose would giggle.. oh and we watched crimson river too... we were so busy analysing the movie, predicting the outcome. and that was the only show that i enjoyed talking in the cinema. =) good old days huh? i miss her though, and she is just one special person who showed me who i was, am.
so i watched we were soldiers with my kor last night and i cried. for i understand army, in a way. there is a part, where the soldiers, being surrounded and outnumbered, went frenzy and started killing and screaming. i turned to my kor and said, my God, how can they be so cruel? my kor simply told me, put me in that situation i will react the same way, it is either he die or i die and i would rather it be him.
a very sad reply, yes, practical, but sad. i wish america can stop sending its soldiers and fight a war that is not really their war. i wish they could stop meddling other countries' affair. so what if iran has nuclear weapons, so what if north korea has it? who says that only america can have nuclear weapons? i wish those at the top would give a damn about those doing the fighting for them. i dont think the soldiers died for the country, i think they died of someone's greed and jealousy.
make peace not war.

first time i permed my hair i cried and that was back in JC1 after the orientation.
second time i permed my hair marie and grace didnt even notice it.
third time i permed it MASS disaster. miscommunication and largely my mum's fault.
sigh. i am going to straighten my hair, by hook or by crook.

oh and i apologise for the spelling error, CNY instead of CYN. ;-) SOME PEOPLE just had to be THAT fussy. and by the way, if you do spot me in my fried hairdo (*,*) i KNOW and i KNOW how bad it is. so go ahead and laugh. sigh. =) maybe i should take a photo and post it up here huh? no no, i will spoil my camera and your monitor! ciao!

went to watch a chinese tall story and again i am amazed by how shitty chinese films are. a total of 5 walked out of the show halfway through. that's like 20% of the audience? sigh. i am so ashamed to watch chinese movies these days. it is either copycat, copycat or copycat. shitty movies
anyway, was eating fried rice when i was watching the news and this particular report made me so sick that i lost my appetite. a building on fire in russia resulted in 5 people falling to their death. and the video camera just had to zoom in on this woman who lost her grip after holding on for some time. she fell, eight storeys down, to her death. another one, didnt manage to hold on tight to the banner, fell too, to his death.
not that it matters anything to you, my friends. have you ever thought what their last thought was? what about that woman who had hung in there with all her might. when her hands grew weak, palms sweating, body heavier by the minute, she knew she would fall wouldnt she? did she has any hope in her heart? did she pray? did she think about her loved ones and all her dreams? what was it like when she let go? did she let go? or did she slip?
my heart reaches out to them and all whose decision of life no longer lies in their hand. my prayers are with you all... i understand the pain the fear. i understand. pray for you too my friends, that you will never be in such a situation.
-hugz-

well, i havent been blogging lately and i HAD to cos i've been tagged. =( okay, not that a big deal BUT werid things about me? hmmm...
1) i daydream every single minute of my life. the minute i am not talking to you i daydream. no no, sometimes even if i am talking to you, i daydream.
2) spent 3/4 of my P2 alone cos i felt people around me was too 'fake'. was tired of the 'i friend you but i dont friend her so you cant friend her'thingy.
3) fought with the guys in class when i was in my lower primary. and know what,i always win. even told them scatching (in the form of attack) is a skill to be mastered.
4) used to think this girl is really pretty in class and went all out to look like her. come and think about it, i REALLY looked like shit then. hahaha...
5) have a habit of pulling my nose if someone presses it down.
6) i used to suck at running. once during pe, we had to run down the hall, climb up the stage, run to the backdrop, touch and back. on my way back, i couldnt regain my balance after jumping off the stage i ran into the floor. seriously. and i hate netball or in fact any ball games cos i never hit the ball and the ball always hit me!!!!!!

actually, i thought i have nothing to write.... but hey, the list goes on! hahaha... okay, i cant really be bothered to tag someone else but i would like to hear what bernice have to say. =)

been missing in action lately cos i was sick... the rain was depressing! urgh!
and you know what? i am being urged and kinda forced to do NUS and Singapore Biathlon. sigh... how to train?

i am really surprised when soomeone not close to me said she would like to catch up with me. which leads me into a position whether i should reply anot.
i chose not to...
reason no.1: we didnt talk much when we saw each other
reason no.2: err, not my kind of friend?
reason no.3: same as reason 1, if we didnt talk much then, what's there to catch up on?
reason no.4: hah, if anyone is interested in me and ben's relationship, sorry, this is between us. and if anyone is interested in how's ben doing, dont fucking asking me, go ask him. tired of being that question.
not much energy left for people who are not interested in being your friend but in gossips.

that aside.
i am cooking for reunion dinner! or so i think. =) i pretty like to cook but i HATE to wash up. i particularly like to shop for the ingredients too! =) next sunday i am baking cookies! cos we like to eat my mum's one and we cant find it on the shelves and since my mum passed THAT recipe to me... i SHALL bake. someone said he is coming to help... i wonder help to bake or help to eat? =) i know him better la.
=)
okay, CYN is getting into me, (abit) going shopping with mandy tomorrow! cant wait!!!=)

bottom d top minus top d bottom over bottom square.
does that ring any bell in you?
i remember it suddenly but i cant seem to link it to any maths theorem. which is kinda bad i figured. haha, if you do remember what's it all about, let me know... i am cracking my brain over it.
actually, i realised i am always in denial how time flies... really. i am a person that is always finding comfort in the past. depending on how you view it, dwelling on the past might not be healthy all the time. but that's just me...

i guess it's changyi's water that has made me sick.
it has been ages since i had a flu... and i cant stand sniffing around.
maybe it is the ultra cold weather. whichever, i hope the rain would clear up soon... sun is always better.

bottom d top minus top d bottom over bottom square.
does that ring any bell in you?
i remember it suddenly but i cant seem to link it to any maths theorem. which is kinda bad i figured. haha, if you do remember what's it all about, let me know... i am cracking my brain over it.
actually, i realised i am always in denial how time flies... really. i am a person that is always finding comfort in the past. depending on how you view it, dwelling on the past might not be healthy all the time. but that's just me...

i guess it's changyi's water that has made me sick.
it has been ages since i had a flu... and i cant stand sniffing around.
maybe it is the ultra cold weather. whichever, i hope the rain would clear up soon... sun is always better.

i was carefree, i was having fun. my life is simple, black and white.
all of a sudden i was drawn into a battle
bitter, painful and all alone
i couldnt identify my enemies, i didnt know what and who i am fighting for.
in the midst of the confusion, i stood there, weeping silently, willing myself to have faith and courage.
years went by, the battle was long gone.
i was again, at ease and happy.
still
i can never forget this battle and it never forgets me.
it haunts me, in my dreams and in my heart.

just so, what am i denying and why?

i am not going to complain but i think i seriously need a vacation. (yeah, i know holiday just ended, but, hey, it didnt felt like one!
i have like 5 pimples on my face, it is werid. my face is immune to facial products but super duper sensitive of potato chips. sad to say, my skin care routine is barely minimal and my consumption of potato chips is way too high. what can i say?
a trip to the treetop walk again and left me concluded that it is really not worth the time. sigh... the bridge has hardly any kick at all!
okay, i have lost the mood to shop (can see that relieved face of my mum) everything looks ugly (i am so bend on buying items on sale; that's the reason why people go to sales right? but i ended up picking things that werent on sale.) now i regret buying my sandals.
barely gotten used to my siemens phone and i am changing phone again. cos someone is getting new phone AGAIN
sigh